So, this post was going to focus on the gorgeous summertime palm frond fabric that I wanted to use for this dress — a simple shift dress from a PDF pattern I found online. I was going to do a quick practice run shift dress out of the black fabric left over from the Trap Crop and then make the fabulous, tropical palm frond dress. But — my plight — I had a really hard time figuring out how to use the printable PDF pattern! I printed it out on standard 8.5 by 11″ paper, as instructed, but that’s as far as I got before I spent an hour-plus googling for guidance. I finally figured it all out, but not without hurdles. First of all, it requires accurate, straight-line cutting, because you have to tile and tape the individual pieces of paper together and try to keep all of the lines straight. This felt like cruel and unusual kindergarten homework — that I did not enjoy.
After taping all of the individual sheets together, you have to take your own measurements (ugh!) to figure out your “size.” I use the term “size” loosely because that’s what it felt like — the sizes are numbers in the 30s and 40s and the pattern markings for each size are, I swear, completely inverse of what they should be. I think this is a pattern mistake. Anyway, I think the 30s and 40s sizes are European, or French, at least, because there is a great scene in Troop Beverly Hills where Shelley Long is at the girl scout uniform store and the clerk asks “what size?” and Shelley asks for a “French 36,” and the clerk says something like “You’re gonna have to go to Frederick’s of Hollywood for that sh*t.” (I’m paraphrasing, as this scene doesn’t appear to be popular enough for a YouTube or Wikiquote entry.)
As you can imagine, watching this movie on repeat ad nauseam as a very small child, this scene gave me a very skewed view of the kind of store Frederick’s of Hollywood is. (For those uninitiated, Shelley Long’s character is a very fancy Beverly Hills lady on the cusp of divorce who agrees to be the leader of her daughter’s girl scout troop and does fabulous things like award a “jewelry appraisal” patch, take her troop to the Beverly Hills Hotel when it rains at their campsite, and describes the fall fashions to the blind as a form of charity, and is a lady who would not be caught dead in a Frederick’s of Hollywood — and that is apparently the joke that it took me decades to catch on to.) The whole uniform scene isn’t on YouTube, but you can borrow my DVD any time you want to brush up. Or better yet, the O.G. VHS tape my parents recorded off of HBO during the free preview month circa 1990. I’ll stop now, but I will undoubtedly post a more comprehensive Troop Beverly Hills post on another day. (Preview: While I was googling for Troop Beverly Hills pics, I found this pic of the girls’ “bungalow” at the Beverly Hills Hotel that has — you guessed it — palm frond wallpaper. I can only assume that subliminal markings on my young, impressionable brain 25 years ago caused me to associate size 36 clothes with palm frond print.)
Anyway, back to the dress. After finding that I am not a French 36 like Shelley and recovering from my brief depression, I had to figure out how to add a seam allowance from my size line around the whole periphery of the pattern, which felt like advanced cruel and unusual elementary school homework. And after screwing up and re-doing it, I finally got to a good enough point to cut out the pattern and fabric. I pinned the three pieces together and then sewed them with a very loose stitch (called “basting”) to see how it was fitting. It was too big so I took it in basically a full size and then sewed a tighter stitch. I finished off the edges in the same way as with the Trap Crop, with bias tape. This time, I turned it under to have a finished edge on the inside as well, which was tedious, but does give a better finish and smoother feel on my skin. The dress also has a bust dart, which ended up in a sort of odd place on my body after the alterations, as you can see in the photos below — it’s like it’s too high and the angle up is too steep, so I need to figure out how to make that better for the future or try to take it out and re-do on this dress.
Net-net, I have a very simple and comfortable shift dress that is work-appropriate, and super flexible and accessorizable. Now that the palm frond fabric has arrived, I don’t think I’m going to make a shift dress with it. I’m thinking of something more like a mid-thigh A-line flowy skirt with a matching tie-up top. Something more breezy and beachy with pieces that can be mixed and matched for polite society. (Kind of like an flirtier flouncier version of the dress Rachel is wearing on the Barbados episode of Friends when she first kisses Joey.) I think re-visiting the Troop Beverly Hills vibe has steered me in a better direction. But here I am wearing the shift to work (in a creepy office selfie):
And here, at home, strategically photographed to show off my new house plant 
Great job Lucy … you continue to impress me!!!