First Things First

As I’ve mentioned before, palm frond has been seemingly everywhere for the past 12-18 months, hitting peak cultural penetration this summer.  I first noticed it in the wallpaper of this quirkily decorated “hip” downtown NYC nightclub/lounge about 2 years ago, then it showed up in mainstream decor fabric, then it was referenced in the houseplant revival of Summer 2015, then I saw it in home decorating blog web design, then I realized it jumped over and spread through fashion and apparel fabrics, most notably this amazing and instantly sold-out Mara Hoffman swimsuit.  And after seeing all of that, I knew I had to put palm frond to use before it became a fading fad.  In the midst of all this viral palm frond activity, I realized that palm frond wallpaper made a cameo appearance in the beloved (by me) late 80s girlfriend comedy Troop Beverly Hills, and I knew instantly that me and palm frond were meant to be.

(And no, I will not stop talking about Troop Beverly Hills, get used to it.  I want more people to watch it so that we can quote it together like all of the other wonderful girlfriend coming-of-age films that my friends and I quote to each other like freaks.  I once, in the early 90s, transcribed all of Troop Beverly Hills into a spiral notebook and tried to memorize it and act it out in my playroom.  I was embarrassed about this sad, bored, only-child fact, until Amy Poehler admitted to something similar in her book, Yes Please.  Then I realized it was merely a sign of early childhood genius and am proud to admit it to you.  But I do promise to start spreading the love to the other top-tier girlfriend comedies that I adore.  You will love it.)

I digress.  I ordered this palm frond fabric from Mood, a go-to NYC fabric store that was within walking distance of my old office and where I sometimes escaped to during lunch — but note that there is no cell phone service inside of Mood, so be prepared to go “out of pocket” when you visit.  I struggled with finding a dress pattern for the fabric that fit my vision, and with the time pressure of summer (and peak palm frond season) coming to an end, I settled on the simplest dress I could think of — off-the-shoulder, elastic top, no waist.

This dress is so easy that literally anyone can make it.  If you choose an open-weave fabric and can do a little hand sewing, you don’t even need a sewing machine — see.  I won’t go into full DIY detail because the girl at A Pair and A Spare already has, but the cliff’s notes version is as follows: Cut out two rectangles that are approx the distance from your shoulder to shoulder in width, and from your shoulder to desired hem line in length — mine were 22″ x 32″ — then sew the long sides together, stopping about 5″ from the top.  Cut out two more rectangles that are as wide as the first two, but only as long as you want your sleeve to be — mine were 22″ x 9″ — then sew those together to form a circle, again stopping about 5″ from the top.  Remember, wrong sides together.  Sew the two sleeves to the bodice piece (lining up your 5″ openings).  Fold over the top approx double the width of your elastic (double fold if you want a pretty finish), and feed the elastic though with a poking device.  I fashioned a poking device out of masking tape, others use a chop stick (seriously), to each his own.  Then finish the sleeve and bottom hems as desired (or don’t, if your fabric won’t fray).

You can get as fancy as you want with the sewing techniques.  I  just ordered a few fancy presser feet for my sewing machine, so I tried out a blind hem and overlock stitched the seams.  Neither of these stitches was as hard as I thought it might be, but the special presser foot helped a lot.  To fold for the blind hem, I watched this tutorial a few times.

Et voilà!  My palm frond off-the-shoulder dress.  Last things last, I am pictured below wearing the dress performing Iggy Azela’s Fancy at a super-dive beach karaoke bar on the Georgia coast.  That’s where the “first things first” comes in, get it?